God bless all, you guys are great. pls hide my ID & advice me here. Am a lady of over 30yrs who strongly believe that sex is not love but becoming confused over my decision. For d past 7years i stopped having sex & was praying for someone to settle down with which has not been easy for me. It's a year with this very guy without sex & i respected him so much for respecting my feelings too but he just told me yesterday that both God & people around knows am the only woman visiting him for a year now yet i cannot sacrifice to give him sex & for that, he did not see any intimacy in our r/ship. I was surprised to hear such from him becos i thought we have been doing it with understanding.
My dear, I commend ur decision. But if he wants 2 have sex n have waited 4 a year, let him make d right move by getting married 2 u
ReplyDeletethats very correct
DeleteThis is the most difficult post I have to comment on.. Hmmmmmmm.. Well..well .. Well.. Babe! You have to make a choice here! Sex or no sex! OK.. Note this before you decide. First having sex with you does not mean he will marry you. Next, you could get pregnant if you guys flop. it doesn't mean he won't cheat on you if he wants to no matter how good you are. Then on the other hand if its BTW two pple who are really in love it binds them together emotionally n spiritually and breaking up will be really painful n difficult. You could end up confused and distant from God because of guilt since your reasons for saying no are spiritual. If you want to have sex pls do it cos u want to,you enjoy it and are prepared for the consequences. Either way both decisions have results. Weigh your options n chose
ReplyDelete*sighs* I have put myself in your shoes. Its a tight one! Firstly, I must say that am so sorry about all of these, and i know for sure how you feel being over 30 and single and all. There is no time that is too late for God. And you can never be too late to settle down okay? Secondly, I appreciate you being celibate for this long esp after being sexually active before now. About your predicament, i must say that ur bf has tried however he hasnt tried enough knowing that u made it clear from the beginning. If you want to have sex, it must be because you want to and not bcs u want to keep him. Sex has never made anyone stay. Okay? He may have sex with u and leave not because he is a bad person or because thats all he wanted but bcs the relationship didnt work out for any other reason. Okay? My dear sister, do the right thing! You know what u want, go for it. There is and has always been great benefits in delaying intimacy. You also must be keeping urself for the right reasons okay? Else u wld have only konijfied urself in d end and to no purpose. God bless you real good. You will be fine. You will be settled in no time if thats ur heart desire. Amen. Ciao!
ReplyDeleteD guy has really tried. Sex actually creates intimecy in a relationship so if u sure u are u both will end up marrying, then encourage guy with wat u have that he needs. Over 30 is not a joke. D wild girls are there hooking d good guys with there value nd d good girls are maintaining protocools that can add another 7yrs of singlehood.
ReplyDeleteIt is an agreement made nd to be reviewed by both of u. if u re abstaining for religious reason, then that is good nd dnt break it. but if u re doing that for a value adoption nd personal principle, well, it depends on ur personal conviction. for me, having sex wit my partner isn't anything to devalue me. but note that, sex cannot make him marry u, nd may nt make him leave u too. I think ur problem is that u ve priotized marriage, nd that could make u desperate, wic may in turn instigate any serious minded guy to knw u intoto first including having sex. If u wld want to give him sex, dnt do that with an exchange of hope for marriage.
ReplyDeleteDont give in to him...if he has waited dat long,there is notin stopin him for waitin longer or better still,get married to you.this is a test for you,please i beg you in d name of God,dont give him sex....dis guy ll respect you more,God ll b more happy with you and satan ll b put to shame.about bein 30...its neva too late,God is never late,God's time is d rite time.If this guy leaves becos of dis issue,den it means God is about doin sumtin excellent in ur life for doin sumtin right becos every parent celebrate their children for doin d rite tin.....remain blessed
ReplyDeletenot every one that post their comment here that know the essence of relationship because many of them are not matured.the essence of relationship is married not because of sex.what should be your concern now is when you are going to do your marriage not sex if he don't have any plan to get married to you for the next six month please come out from such relationship he is only deceiving you. don't ever allow him to have sex with you because of pressure sex is not love and is not a guarantee that he will marry you. god always bless men and women who keep themselves with good wives and good husband.you ladies are easly carried away when a man said i love you whether the love is genuine or not you don't care.please remain focus and be patient your right man must surely come don't allow age to push you into wrong hand.age is not the issue but doing it right is what matters
ReplyDeleteIt's nice you asked for an advice in a situation where you seem confused, what i will say is, first recognice pre-marital sex as a sin unto God, do not listen to any being who says you should have sex, we human need to understand our godly principles and strictly heed them... it is said that all other sin in this world are outside the body but the sin of fornication is within... Although you should flee from all sin but take note of this carefully.
ReplyDelete1Corinthians 6:18-20(KJV)Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
He also said cast all your burden upon ME, and I will give you rest.
You need understand dat stressing your mind with worries is also bad.. even if that guy isn't meant for you God has a better plan for you which is not too late if u truthfully seek Him
Having a spouse is not the paramount, having God's chosen for you is what matters, because wrong marriage can also lead you to eternal death!! Sorry for the long text, typing this wasn't easy for me either, thanks
It's nice you asked for an advice in a situation where you seem confused, what i will say is, first recognice pre-marital sex as a sin unto God, do not listen to any being who says you should have sex, we human need to understand our godly principles and strictly heed them... it is said that all other sin in this world are outside the body but the sin of fornication is within... Although you should flee from all sin but take note of this carefully.
ReplyDelete1Corinthians 6:18-20(KJV)Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
He also said cast all your burden upon ME, and I will give you rest.
You need understand dat stressing your mind with worries is also bad.. even if that guy isn't meant for you God has a better plan for you which is not too late if u truthfully seek Him
Having a spouse is not the paramount, having God's chosen for you is what matters, because wrong marriage can also lead you to eternal death!! Sorry for the long text, typing this wasn't easy for me either, thanks
This post is a very difficult one nd you must read nd download the best advice you needed as for my own opinion if you agreed on no sex stand on that,yes he has tried but let him considered getting married to you 30 let him go nd seal the deal one year is enough for courtship.if he wnts sex let him go nd pay your bride price.alwys belive God never fails even if you giv him sex if he doesn't wnt to marry you he won't so putting sex in consideration is nt the best option.don't have sex becos you wnt to pls him
ReplyDelete