Couples are putting so much pressure on themselves to have amazing
sex that many are avoiding it all together. A simple shift in thinking
could make all the difference.
6,000 UK adults were asked about their sex lives in a YouGov poll commissioned by Relate, Marriage Care and Relationships Scotland.
The good news is that 45% of people surveyed said they felt fairly satisfied or very satisfied with their sex lives. However, that leaves more than half of us wanting something more. 51% said they had not had sex at all in the last month.
Many couples say they want sex to be more spontaneous but, due to the busy nature of our modern lives, it’s sometimes necessary to plan for our intimate moments. This may not be such a bad thing, say Relate, who have offered up some tips on how to reduce the pressure and enjoy the sex we’re having.
First of all, it’s important to recognise the good things you already have. Rather than trying to live up to sex you see on TV, or what you imagine other people might be doing, just allow yourself to enjoy the reality of your own relationship.
Remember also that sex doesn’t always have to mean intercourse. If you’re very busy or exhausted after a long day, sometimes just an intimate cuddle can be enough to help you feel close and remind each other of the connection you share.
Psychosexual therapist Cate Campbell says:
"It’s sad that so few people are sexually satisfied and put pressure on themselves to perform. Noticing what is going well, rather than dwelling on problems, is quite difficult when we’re all bombarded with messages about how sex ‘ought’ to be.
“Sex definitely doesn’t have to be disappointing - there's plenty that can turn your situation around so you can enjoy a sustained, fulfilling sex life. What constitutes a satisfying sex life can vary wildly from one person to the next, so working out what makes you tick is a great starting point”.
6,000 UK adults were asked about their sex lives in a YouGov poll commissioned by Relate, Marriage Care and Relationships Scotland.
The good news is that 45% of people surveyed said they felt fairly satisfied or very satisfied with their sex lives. However, that leaves more than half of us wanting something more. 51% said they had not had sex at all in the last month.
Many couples say they want sex to be more spontaneous but, due to the busy nature of our modern lives, it’s sometimes necessary to plan for our intimate moments. This may not be such a bad thing, say Relate, who have offered up some tips on how to reduce the pressure and enjoy the sex we’re having.
First of all, it’s important to recognise the good things you already have. Rather than trying to live up to sex you see on TV, or what you imagine other people might be doing, just allow yourself to enjoy the reality of your own relationship.
Remember also that sex doesn’t always have to mean intercourse. If you’re very busy or exhausted after a long day, sometimes just an intimate cuddle can be enough to help you feel close and remind each other of the connection you share.
Psychosexual therapist Cate Campbell says:
"It’s sad that so few people are sexually satisfied and put pressure on themselves to perform. Noticing what is going well, rather than dwelling on problems, is quite difficult when we’re all bombarded with messages about how sex ‘ought’ to be.
“Sex definitely doesn’t have to be disappointing - there's plenty that can turn your situation around so you can enjoy a sustained, fulfilling sex life. What constitutes a satisfying sex life can vary wildly from one person to the next, so working out what makes you tick is a great starting point”.
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