I enjoy having sex. More than that, I need to have sex. Not every day. Not even every week. Hell, I don’t even need to have sex every month. But once I hit that two-month mark, it becomes such a distraction that my work suffers for it.
But I struggle with finding the right person. I’m past the age of one-night stands. And I’ve come to learn that, though I may want to sleep with every beautiful woman in the world, the experience probably won’t be pleasant.
Sure, bad sex is still sex — life could be worse. But the more you sleep with the wrong women, the more you want to sleep with the right one.
Sex is all about sexual chemistry. And just because you find the other person beautiful or sexy doesn’t guarantee sexual chemistry.
In fact, some of the worst sexual experiences I’ve had in my life were with incredibly beautiful women. They’re beautiful. But without chemistry, the excitement isn’t there.
Contrary to popular belief, chemistry doesn’t spring out of nowhere. Yes, finding someone who solicits your immediately positive response is nice. But there’s more to it than just that.
Chemistry isn’t just about the physical. In fact, the most crucial ingredient is psychological chemistry. And that isn’t found; it’s created.
How “mentally sexy” you find someone is the difference between good sex and great sex.
And great sex turns into mind-blowing sex when both of you are turned on by each other’s mind.
But how do we create such powerful psychological chemistry?
There are several factors that affect how attracted you are to someone else, and these extend beyond the physical.
Rushing into sex almost guarantees that you’ll never be able to build up the necessary psychological/sexual tension needed to create the chemistry.
But if you wait, you have a chance at making this relationship your last relationship.
Waiting to have sex with your significant other may be hard, but it’s worth it. Here’s why:
Amazing sex requires a certain level of trust.
And, as I’m sure you know, trust takes time to develop. Only the naive trust strangers — and you never want to date someone who’s so naive.
Naive people in love fail to see reality. They stick to a fairytale understanding they’ve created for themselves. The relationship will inevitably fail.
Great sex is possible only when both people in the relationship feel comfortable enough to let go. They need to stop holding themselves back and instead tap into their natural, animalistic instincts.
The only way to get to this level of comfort is to build up trust. And that, my friends, takes time. There are no shortcuts.
Curiosity builds excitement.
And curiosity is sparked by complex and genuine interest.
How curious are you when you meet an attractive person? Very curious. How do you feel when you realize that the more you get to know the person, the more curious about him or her you become?
That’s what falling in love is. The more you get to know someone, the more you want to learn. While sexual intimacy is important, the focus must remain on the intimacy you’re building in conversation.
You need to get the other person excited. And you don’t do this through touch. Instead, prove that you’re unlike anyone this person has ever met before. He or she will want to get to know you on a psychological level.
The more complex this person’s desire becomes, the more excited you’ll both grow. And that’s when sex becomes incredible. If you rush to sex and skip this “foreplay,” the sex won’t reach its potential.
Mind-blowing sex requires mutual respect.
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