Best Way To Recover From Heart Break

A break-up can feel like the end of the world. And almost everybody goes through these jarring transitions at some point in their romantic lives, experiencing unbearable loss, confusion and despair. Luckily, a growing number of evidence-based strategies can help you cope.

1. Either block or unfriend him on Facebook, because that shit will be the death of you. Maybe you assume you are a reasonable and mature lady-human who can handle seeing the occasional reminder of him on your Facebook timeline. You're both grown-ups, right! What's a little "David's Birthday Bar Crawl!" action popping up on your feed? Noooo. There will be a really pretty redhead in his arms in every picture, and you will feel like you want to jump into Buffalo Bill's abandoned well girl-trap in Silence of The Lambs.

2. Don't immediately suggest to "stay friends" — and if he does, tell him you need to think about it. This is an impulse because you don't want to seem like you care too much about the breakup. Because you're so chill. You're so chill that your heart isn't beating. Aaand, you're dead. But truthfully, during this stilted, awkward breaking-up period, it's hard to tell whether you'll be able to be friends or not. Generally, one person wants to be friends and the other wants to be more. Gotta work that shit out before it can be a healthy friendship … if it ever can be. You're not admitting defeat by not staying friends with him.

3. If you feel an impulse to get drunk alone, call some friends instead. It's the worst being alone and sad and drunk. When you've just broken up with someone, you get all nihilistic, and because there is probably not a Hot Topic near you. At least be sad with people you love! We've all been heartbroken — it's not like they'll judge you for drinking wine with dirty hair, in Family Guy pajamas.

4. If you want to drunk-text, get your friend to take your phone away . Oh, the number of times I have drunk-texted something cryptic to an ex at 2 a.m. and assumed if he texts back, he still has feelings for me. Drunk-texting an ex is a two-steps-forward-one-step-back slide down the rabbit hole. Him replying, "nothing," to your booze-fueled, "sup," does not mean you'll have a spring wedding.

5. Spend a lot of time outside. fresh air really does clear your head. So does, You know, seeing the sun every once in a while. Take at least two hours from each day just to leave your Cave of Forgotten Dreams and interact with The Outside.

6. Rebound with one incredibly hot guy, if that's what you want, and then give yourself some time to decompress and remember who you are. Go out and get yourself some strange from a guy who is either a King of Leon or just has dirty hair. It's hard to tell the difference. But then slow down and be low-key for a while. If you've had one rebound, you've had them all, in this woman's opinion.

7. If you start dating someone else, take it really slow. Dude. You just ended a relationship and your heart flipped over and exploded like a tanker in a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie. If you take it step by step and enjoy it as a casual thing for a while, that'll give you some time to evaluate whether you're actually ready to be with someone again or if you're just ready to have really hot sex with them in an elevator once in a while.

8. Allow yourself to cry when you need to. Thus preventing a giant tidal wave of feels to wash over you in the workplace, or the DMV, or anywhere else inappropriate. If you don't, you'll repress your feelings until you break down in the office pantry while you're microwaving your pasta and that passive-aggressive asshole Susan comes over and takes you to the women's bathroom and murmurs a bunch of vaguely religious-sounding proverbs like, "This too shall pass." And then every time you and Susan make contact afterwards, it will be weird.

9. If you get a Facebook invite to his best friend's party ... stay home, put a face mask on. There is always a strong temptation to show up with a fresh blowout and a low-cut J.Lo Grammys dress, and grind with his friend that you hate just to make him jealous. Eat your heart out.... Going to that party still makes it all about him — not your emotional well-being. And seeing him will just pick the scab open.

10. Don't scheme to get him back — scheme to get yourself back. Get some solid book recs, join a pickup sports game, go on a trip somewhere with a girlfriend. Paint your bathroom; I don't care. Just do something for yourself.

11. Write him heartbroken letters and never send them. Get it all out — on paper, so as to avoid accidentally sending them. (E is for the "Extremely messed up way you treated me." R is for "the rage I feel." I is for "I will never love again." C is for "I HATE YOU YOU DICKHEAD, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME.

12. Avoid posting the details on Facebook. Or Twitter. Or Instagram. Or Tumblr. Live ya life! Airing your grievances on social media is not good for anyone, and it'll be embarrassing later. Who's gonna read it, anyway? Aunt Maggie? That girl you met during Welcome Week?

13. Take baths. Baths are half wallowing and half cleansing/pampering, and thus are perfect for breakups. When's the last time you really filled up your tub (clean it first, please) and had a good soak with a glass (bottle) of wine? Showers are not for the recently dumped.

14. Stop blaming yourself and thinking things like, "If only I'd watched more Bourne movies/dyed my hair/given more rim jobs/was cooler." It takes two to break up — the problem wasn't just you, it was you two as a couple. It's almost reverse-narcissistic to blame yourself that much! If you try to look at the relationship from the outside, maybe you'll have an easier time seeing how you both contributed to the breakup. "If only" killed the dinosaurs. (Actually an asteroid did, but let's not quibble.)

1. Take care of yourself: be sure to get plenty of good quality sleep, eat well, and exercise
2. Avoid binge drinking, abusing drugs, and having revenge sex
3. Don't stalk or threaten your ex-partner
4. Socialize with others who can provide positive support
5. Don't be afraid to seek professional help to assist you in working through the break-up;  "there's no need to isolate yourself and go it alone."
6. It's normal to not feel like yourself. A loss of self-concept is a natural part of the healing process
7. To rebuild your self-identity, rediscover what makes you happy and what defines you as an individual without your ex-partner; think of it as an opportunity for re-growth
8. Focus on the positive aspects of the break-up, such as having a fresh start, re-engaging with hobbies you used to do, and so on. Focus on positive feelings, such as relief, freedom, optimism, and empowerment
9. Engage in writing and speaking exercises in which you clearly articulate your deepest thoughts and positive feelings about the relationship that ended
10. Don't be scared of a "rebound" relationship — but be damned sure you're getting into it for the right reasons
11. If your partner starts dating someone else, give them space and respect the new relationship. It's important to remember that your former partner is someone you used to care about greatly (and perhaps still do), so you should do what you would for any other friend and wish him or her the best."
12. Appreciate the fact that a lot of what's going on is neurological and there's only so much you can do to cope
13. Give yourself time to heal
    
    Source: i09, cosmopolitan