1. You can't wear button down shirts because the buttons gape open and you basically look semi-naked. One time I realized this was happening 30 minutes into a work meeting. It's like having spinach in your teeth, but boobs.
2. It's impossible to find cute bras that fit. All the lacy balconette bras Victoria's Secret models wear? Look away because YOU get a giant grandma support bra with two-inch-wide beige straps.
3. No bathing suits fit. Ever. Not one pieces, not two pieces, not red pieces, not blue pieces.
4. People (even those who don't know you well!) say things to you (even in casual conversation!) like, "Have you ever thought about getting a breast reduction?" No, have you ever thought about getting a nose job? Maybe you could at least turn around and go check your nosiness at the door, then?
5. People ask you if your back hurts. While I realize this is an issue for some women, it's weird when people assume that something I actually like about my body is a disability.
6. Everyday exercises are basically not possible. There is this much space between my b(oo)bs and the floor during a push-up.
7. You have to wear more than one sports bra if you're going to attempt to work out. Sometimes two, sometimes....UGH....three . Sometimes you wish you could temporarily mummify your b(oo)bs just for your workouts.
8. You automatically look sexual in everything you wear.
9. You look especially sexual in bathing suits. There is soooo much cleavage.
10. People ask what size bra you are. Both men and women. This is weird and rude. I don't go around asking you how much you, like, weigh.
11. Guys pay too much attention to your boobs in bed, as if assuming that big b(oo)bs automatically equate to "extremely sensitive cl!toris-like pleasure appendages." Not true.
12. You are constantly bothered by dressing advice for "curvy" figures because the advice is always bullshit. Like that thing about belting things at the waist? You look like you're presenting your boobs on a platter.
13. You can never wear anything backless. You basically cry while watching the Oscars red carpet, jealous of all the side b(oo)bs you will never flaunt.
14. You can't wear any bridesmaids dresses because they're ALWAYS strapless. Damn you brides and your strapless dress leanings. DAMN YOU.
15. You can't wear blazers. Because they all gape open at the bottom so that your torso looks like a big bell. That cliché work advice about just throwing on a blazer over your dress for your job interview is, to you, fake.
16. You can only wear bib necklaces. Because long ones dangle off the precipice of your b(oo)bs like a cat toy.
17. Cross body bags awkwardly snuggle up to your armpit. Like you're nursing a baby.
18. You look positively beastly if you're cut off mid-b(oo)b in a photo.
19. You are horrified of the idea of being pregnant because even though you love your big b(oo)bs, they are big enough.
Via Cosmopolitan
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