God bless all, you guys are great. pls hide my ID & advice me here. Am a lady of over 30yrs who strongly believe that sex is not love but becoming confused over my decision. For d past 7yrs i stopped having sex & was praying for someone to settle down with which has not been easy for me. It's a year with dis very guy without sex & i respected him so much for respecting my feelings too but he just told me yesterday that both God & people around knows am d only woman visiting him for a year now yet i cannot sacrify to give him sex & for that, he did not see any intimacy in our r/ship. I was surprised to hear such from him because I thought we have been doing it with understanding. Though atimes he will make an attempt as a human being but i will plead with him not to. Pls friends, what do you think about my decision & thiis guy's point of view? Sorry for the long write up, wrong spellings & bad english if any but matured advice pls. God bless you . Thanks
My dear, I commend ur decision. But if he wants 2 have sex n have waited 4 a year, let him make d right move by getting married 2 u
ReplyDelete*sighs* I have put myself in your shoes. Its a tight one! Firstly, I must say that am so sorry about all of these, and i know for sure how you feel being over 30 and single and all. There is no time that is too late for God. And you can never be too late to settle down okay? Secondly, I appreciate you being celibate for this long esp after being sexually active before now. About your predicament, i must say that ur bf has tried however he hasnt tried enough knowing that u made it clear from the beginning. If you want to have sex, it must be because you want to and not bcs u want to keep him. Sex has never made anyone stay. Okay? He may have sex with u and leave not because he is a bad person or because thats all he wanted but bcs the relationship didnt work out for any other reason. Okay? My dear sister, do the right thing! You know what u want, go for it. There is and has always been great benefits in delaying intimacy. You also must be keeping urself for the right reasons okay? Else u wld have only konijfied urself in d end and to no purpose. God bless you real good. You will be fine. You will be settled in no time if thats ur heart desire. Amen. Ciao!
ReplyDeleteWell..well .. Well.. Babe! You have to make a choice here! Sex or no sex! OK.. Note this before you decide. First having sex with you does not mean he will marry you. Next, you could get pregnant if you guys flop. it doesn't mean he won't cheat on you if he wants to no matter how good you are. Then on the other hand if its BTW two pple who are really in love it binds them together emotionally n spiritually and breaking up will be really painful n difficult. You could end up confused and distant from God because of guilt since your reasons for saying no are spiritual. If you want to have sex pls do it cos u want to,you enjoy it and are prepared for the consequences. Either way both decisions have results. Weigh your options n chose
ReplyDeleteIt is an agreement made nd to be reviewed by both of u. if u re abstaining for religious reason, then that is good nd dnt break it. but if u re doing that for a value adoption nd personal principle, well, it depends on ur personal conviction. for me, having sex wit my partner isn't anything to devalue me. but note that, sex cannot make him marry u, nd may nt make him leave u too. I think ur problem is that u ve priotized marriage, nd that could make u desperate, wic may in turn instigate any serious minded guy to knw u intoto first including having sex. If u wld want to give him sex, dnt do that with an exchange of hope for marriage.
ReplyDeleteD guy has really tried. Sex actually creates intimecy in a relationship so if u sure u are u both will end up marrying, then encourage guy with wat u have that he needs. Over 30 is not a joke. D wild girls are there hooking d good guys with there value nd d good girls are maintaining protocools that can add another 7yrs of singlehood.
ReplyDeleteListen , she made up her mind not to have sex again which was "her decision" , it wasn't His decision and hence he is not bound by law to abide to it .
DeleteHer decision is applaudable and the fact she stood by it for this long is totally admirable but its up to him to respect it for as long as he can bear and opt out whenever he feels he can't go on.
Supposing he made a decision to have sex every day of his life , is it not his life? Has he not tried by altering his life style for more than one year?
Forget morals and be realistic , if he can't go on , let her allow him to move on , its not like he made her make the decision in the first place .
That's my take on the issue
lies bro lies.stop deceivin pple. dos it mean dat dia r no wild girl dat is single even at 35. ds is all abt destiny, as a single I didn't share my body lyk a piece of cake n yet am sooo marid, my friend @ 32 got marid as a virgin n she works wit shell bt maintained ha culm most of my frnds marid as virgins yet hapi.there r lots of people wild life didn't pay n daz y dey kip strugglin to take ova pples home.
DeleteHmmmm! Dis is a serious matter, firstly ask urself wht did he want from u, if it's marriage den what is he waiting for? Let him settle down wit u b4 u give him the cookies abi one year never reach for courting. Or may be he want sex.
ReplyDeleteI guess ur story is nt complete, bcs u didnt tel us d definitn of ur rship wt guy nd his readiness 2settle down wt u. Dat ua d only lady dat visit hm doesnt mean he cant give u red card after using u. BEWARE! Thrs dis group of men dat d moment d sleep wt u outside marriage dey wl hate u bcs u value wl get reduced in dr eyes after dat. Undst d handwritn on d wall nd keep ur pride. If he is too anxious 4sex now,u guys shld plan nd hastin up marriage. But if na all dis half done sex of fornicatn,,,,,fafafafafaaaaa......fawuuuuu!
ReplyDeleteDont give in to him...if he has waited dat long,there is notin stopin him for waitin longer or better still,get married to you.this is a test for you,please i beg you in d name of God,dont give him sex....dis guy ll respect you more,God ll b more happy with you and satan ll b put to shame.about bein 30...its neva too late,God is never late,God's time is d rite time.If this guy leaves becos of dis issue,den it means God is about doin sumtin excellent in ur life for doin sumtin right becos every parent celebrate their children for doin d rite tin.....remain blessed
ReplyDeleteIt's human nature that a man might demand sex from a woman that he love. But what is holding him from marrying you. If he truly loves you as he claims let him pay for your head. I think it's very easy
ReplyDeleteThis post is a very difficult one nd you must read nd download the best advice you needed as for my own opinion if you agreed on no sex stand on that,yes he has tried but let him considered getting married to you 30 let him go nd seal the deal one year is enough for courtship.if he wnts sex let him go nd pay your bride price.alwys belive God never fails even if you giv him sex if he doesn't wnt to marry you he won't so putting sex in consideration is nt the best option.don't have sex becos you wnt to pls him
ReplyDeleteIt's nice you asked for an advice in a situation where you seem confused, what i will say is, first recognice pre-marital sex as a sin unto God, do not listen to any being who says you should have sex, we human need to understand our godly principles and strictly heed them... it is said that all other sin in this world are outside the body but the sin of fornication is within... Although you should flee from all sin but take note of this carefully.
ReplyDelete1Corinthians 6:18-20(KJV)Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
He also said cast all your burden upon ME, and I will give you rest.
You need understand dat stressing your mind with worries is also bad.. even if that guy isn't meant for you God has a better plan for you which is not too late if u truthfully seek Him
Having a spouse is not the paramount, having God's chosen for you is what matters, because wrong marriage can also lead you to eternal death!! Sorry for the long text, typing this wasn't easy for me either, thanks
To me i think he is a nice person to have been patient for a a year is not a day job, I think your decision is too harsh and advice you give him or don't complain whenever you discover he is having it elsewhere since you are not a vigin, I am not in any way trying to tell you start sleeping with every guys but one year is enough to know if he is your choice or what you both want,
ReplyDeleteIf you want to throw away 7 years of hard work for 30 minutes of pleasure , BE MY GUEST.
ReplyDeleteAm wondering what is keeping him from proposing to you and meeting your family .
wat if you allow him and he later disappoints you...who will you run to...God?? Or...who? Devil is a lier... If he cant go on again, let him go...this is your trial moments... Dont disappoint God. You never can tell if after winning this temptation,God wil reward you with your life patner. It doesnt matter d life of before but life of now matters alot...keep your body for christ Jesus...its your type that God is looking for to make little lilies of His kingdom. Stand firm my dear for sex cant keep men... Its only God that keep man...my sincere advice
ReplyDeleteMy dear I know it might not b easy for him but just as many has said,you have to know that having sex with him will neither keep him nor send him away but d question iI have for u is who do u fear most? Man or God ur creator who has commanded u to abstain from such.he will always bring a good man your way for keeping to his injinjunctions.if he refuses to marry u bcos u refused having sex just know dat it's God's way of saving u from an unforseen danger so be courageous my dear Nd keep up d faith.the fact dat u have had sex before u decided to make this great decision does not mean you should chicken out now.mayb dis is coming as a trial of d decision u have made a long time ago just stand strong Nd see how it ends.God's Grace upon u dear.
ReplyDeleteTell him 2 marry u first b4 he can have sex wit u. If he luvs u he'll get married 2 u. Pls don't allow him o. He fit hate u after having his way. Take ur stand
ReplyDeleteLying is a sin, stealing, still a sin, bearing false witness, also a sin. Why den is sex taken as de only sin God hates? No matter how grievous ur act is, de all are de same in de sight of God, all sins and can lead u to hell. Back 2 de comments regarding de poster, why can't people simply respect other people's decisions about their own lives, some calling her names, all bcuz she decided 2 be chaste, abstain 4rm sex. Some said he has 2 taste what he wants 2 have. A man who loves u must respect ur feelings. A decision u have made about ur life, u must keep 2 it. Don't displease urself and God almighty just 2 please a man and he is even just a bf and not even engaged 2 him. Really, @ dat age, marriage should be ur priority and if only sex men want and not a lifetime with u, my dear poster, 2 ur heels u have 2 take. Pray 2 God 2 help you and keep 2 dis decision u took 7yrs ago and ask God 4 de right man. No one can decide ur future, God is de author and de finisher of our faith. Keep to ur act of being chaste and wait on de Lord. U can't quarrentee dat after de sex, he will still remain with u, even if he said he would, u can't be sure. My advice is keep being faithful 2 him and 2 God and keep praying 2 God. Wish u God's grace, mercy and favour
ReplyDeleteMy dear y nt alow him, dat mite mak him 2 luv u more, many gals dat ar askin u nt 2 alow him, is dat how dey ar treatin der bf? many of dem has 2 or more bf and dey ar havin sex wit al of dem on daily bases, pls b wise every body knws wat he/she is sacrificing to kip der relatnship going
ReplyDeleteU are 30yrs, already riped to be a mother & ur guy should be 30plus, non of u r virgin, he may not hold his feeling anymor, I TINK IS HIGH TIME U TELL HIM TO DO INTRO AND ENGAGEMENT FOR U IF HE IS NOT BOUYANT FOR MARRIAGE. den both of u wi be free for sex as he want it........l CAN PASSIVE BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND TINZ WIT U GUYZ
ReplyDeleteI tink ur bf shud b talkin abt settling down wit u, is jst a normal sexual urge dat is disturbing him, u stil nid 2 explain over and over again 2 him concerning ur stance, if his nt ready 2 accept it walk away dear, u can't jst sacrifise 4 ntin 7yrs of celibacy. U r a gr8 lady 4 standing strong... Dnt get scared of loosing him, ur happiness matters. God wil help u.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, it always gets tough at the edge of break-through if u know wat i mean!
ReplyDeleteSex is not love! If he can wait for 1year actually he has tried but let him hurry up to marry u if he dont want to waste more time.
No age is ever too late for marriage. Gods time is always the best!
Remember, u are not alone in this! So keep hanging on for ur breakthrough!
me am angry already,sex sex sex,evrytym sex wat is it.sure dey find it vry difficult to render help if dey ve nt seen ur pant some will even say dat is wat will prove u truly love dem.abeg my dear sista if afta 1yr he as been wit u nd u guys r okay nd nw he tinks d nxt tin is sex.well gud don't open ur legs o until he marry u.if truly he. loves u he will ask to meet ur pple nd do d right tin.but if he gets angry or insist on sex 1st den I will tell u to tink well.love is nt sex nd sex is nt love agreement is agreement.gud luck
ReplyDeletenot every one that post their comment here that know the essence of relationship because many of them are not matured.the essence of relationship is married not because of sex.what should be your concern now is when you are going to do your marriage not sex if he don't have any plan to get married to you for the next six month please come out from such relationship he is only deceiving you. don't ever allow him to have sex with you because of pressure sex is not love and is not a guarantee that he will marry you. god always bless men and women who keep themselves with good wives and good husband.you ladies are easly carried away when a man said i love you whether the love is genuine or not you don't care.please remain focus and be patient your right man must surely come don't allow age to push you into wrong hand.age is not the issue but doing it right is what matters
ReplyDelete