A lot of stuff in movies is fake. But those steamy car sex scenes surely are not. In real life, your heart really does race with excitement and the windows do get steamy like a gym sauna.
No one past the age of 22 should be a car sex virgin. Whether you're a newbie to getting it on in your road machine, or you are a backseat veteran, here are 10 practical tips to revving your engine..
12. Leather Seats
She thought rug burns were bad? Leather burns are the worst. Put a towel down. If you don't have one, you better forewarn her. There is no such thing as gentle lovemaking in a car.
11. Quickie
You're in a car, not a bed. So never take off all your clothes...never ever simp in a whip. Keep enough clothes on, in case someone is coming. That way, you can get dressed quickly and pretend you weren't knocking her down—while the person who catches you certainly knows you were.
10. Front Seat Fun
If you must foray in the front seat, make sure you're in the passenger seat, because steering wheels and sex don't mix. Make sure you move the seat all the way back for as much room as possible. Just make sure that while she's going wild, she doesn't knock the gear shift to neutral. Last thing you need is to be rolling down the street ass-naked with your own parts engaged.
9. Back Seat Action
Hop in the backseat if you really want to put your back into it. Make sure you push the front seats up as far as they can go, for more leverage. Smack it up, flip it, rub it down...ohhh nooooo!
8. Music
The same rules for music in the bedroom apply for the car. No Miami booty bass, New Orleans bounce? none of that shit. Keep it R&B or Country. Don't act like you've never banged a chick to Garth Brooks.
7. Nooner?
To each his own. But the smart money is on doing it at night so you don't get arrested or ticketed. But if you're feeling randy and want to romp in the day, make sure it's a quickie.
6. Size Matters
The bigger the car, the better. More room and better positions. If you're in a Mini or a Smart Car, why don't you just use the money you're saving on gas and get a freaking hotel. Or just put her on the hood so she can put 'em on the glass.
5. Clean Up
Pretty self explanatory. Especially if you've got cloth seats. Not much of an excuse for stains in your car, so make sure you clean up asap.
4. Orgasm Carefully
Sometimes you just can't control it. You can be the G of all Gs, but when you reach the end, shit just happens for you and her. While you're blowing her back out, make sure she keeps her feet away from the windows, because she could very well bust a nut and your window with her foot at the same time.
3. Getting Steamy
We have no clue how you can take a road trip, five deep in a four-door and the windows not get foggy. But you get it on with a chick for 20 minutes and it's like a 24-hour fitness sauna in the car. Crack the windows...unless you're just trying to lose some weight. Oh, yeah, pray she's not a musty chick, either. Musk is never a good thing.
2. Location
The irony of trying to find a private place to get it on in public? Get real. If you must find a "private place," stay away from schools, because there's always someone there. Don't try to stay in a safe place. Safe places always have people around, unless you want an audience. The darker the better. Just keep your head on a
swivel.
1. Excuses
Dare to be bold and prepare to be bashful. You do it in a car enough times, you're going to get caught. Whether it be a punk kid or prick cop, you'll be caught. So you better have a good excuse. Honesty is always the best policy. Tell the coppers that the PYT was so fly that you just couldn't wait. He'll respect you, dap you up and probably let you "slide."
- Complex
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